"Oh Shit" moment

What's an "oh shit" moment?  Well, it's those moments when something happens and you say, you guessed it.  I'm admitting something here that I've finally come to terms with.  I'm falling in love with my best friend, my best mate.  He has no idea and thankfully will never know cause he doesn't know my blog exists.  I've known him for ages now or what seems like forever.  We talk everyday and sometimes into the night about everything.  He knows me.  I mean, really knows me and doesn't judge me, in any way.  He is the male version of me.  It came as a shock to me today that I'm falling in love with him.  Why today of all days?  I have no idea, but it fell on me like a ton of bricks today, when I was talking to him and looking outside my window.  The thing now is what to do about it.  I have the answer.  Nothing.  Absofreaking nothing.  That's what I'm going to do about it.  I look at it this way.  He's my best friend and I wouldn't trade that in for anything in the world.  Boyfriends are a dime a dozen, but a true friendship is one of those things that come every blue moon.  So, how hard is it going to be when we talk and all I can think about is kissing him or holding him?  Very, but I take comfort in the fact that on some level, he loves me too.  Maybe not like how I love him, but I'm ok with that.  I'm glad he doesn't know about this blog cause I'd have a lot of explaining to do.

An aside:  lol.  Corny as it is, I call him peanut.  Why?  Just one of those things you come up with on the spur of the moment and it sticks.  He has a nickname for me, mine for him is Peanut.  Since this is the only place I can say this, I think I'll take this opportunity and say this:  I love you.  I've probably loved you from the very beginning but it didn't occur to me till today.  You have such a good heart and are such a good person.  I love you.

That's it.  Perfect timing I guess, what with my vow of celibacy for the next two years.  Ay Caramba!  lol.  Oh well.

Comments

T.Notes said…
I have a good mind to send him an annonymous mail directing him to some blogpage with certain sizzling information!lol!
I maintain that bestMates make the perfect partners!
Lol,i'll be holding out a night candle on ur behalf. Who knows i might be booking that ticket sooner than i thot!
chinnyugoji said…
Aww.. I almost wish I could tell him for you! I have a feeling it'll work out! I agree with T.Notes on best mates being great partners. I've always liked wedding invites that read, 'Today, I shall marry my friend.'

Girl, if you're sure, speak up! Don't end up like Julia Roberts in 'My best friend's wedding'!
Naijalines said…
Hmmmm...it's a tricky one. I would do nothing for now. See how you feel as time goes on.
YankeeNaija said…
@ Nj: you get it. you just get it. That is that plan. Only by divine intervention would I be moved to say anything.

@Chinny: so glad you can't tell him. it would cause a lot of trouble. maybe not trouble, but be uncomfortable.

@TN: trouble maker, (grabbing your ear and twisting) if i hear one word of him receiving an anon email, i go deal w/ you well well. but wait, you dont' know his name, so you're safe, for now. lol

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