Is it real?
I'm watching P.S. I love you and though I've seen this movie before, the premise of finding a love like that, like in all rom coms, I have to wonder. I love the idea of finding "the one." The person who encompasses all I want in an SO. I have this ideal in my mind but I wonder if what I want is practical. I think when it boils down to it, I want someone who I can easily talk to. Someone who I can laugh with,who I can make laugh and vice versa. Someone who is wildly intelligent. Someone who sees me as the absolute cat's meow, the bee knees. I've been reading romance novels since I was a freshman in high school and have always known that I want the best that love has to offer. I want to have that person who, at the end of the day, is someone I'm happy with and I want him to feel the same about me. I've been married before but it wasn't the stuff that dreams are made of. I have this theory that people should have practice marriages, where they get married once, just to see how it's really supposed to be, then get married for real, knowing all that you're supposed to and not supposed to do. I think that may minimize divorces. I've had my practice run and now I'm ready for the real thing. You know what I miss? Watching a man get ready. Being privy to that private bit. I miss that. I pretend to be a hard ass and be completely oblivious to not having someone around. It's not about having a boyfriend or just having someone around for the sake of having someone. I want the real deal. I know I'll have it eventually. I just have to wait and be patient. All this, this evaluation, was brought on because I had probably one of the best chats I've had in a long time with a guy today. Chatting with him made me realize that I want substance. Chatting with him got me back to being me, the me I like. The smart ass me, the shock me, the funny me, the me that wants to just be a girl, talking with a guy, getting to know him and him getting to know me. Granted, this is just a great friendship in the making, it was pleasant just the same and I know that I will not settle again. I refuse to settle. I picture me on top of a building shouting, "I WILL NOT SETTLE." This post is probably going on longer than I intended, so I'll stop now.