Like Mother, Like Daughter

Being married to the spawn of hell was the worst experience of my life.  It's interesting to be married to and live with someone who is morally ambiguous.  I don't think about my ex husband.  I sometimes even forget that there was a time I was married to him because I've somehow, as a defense mechanism, blocked it out of my memory.  But when he rears his ugly (literally speaking) head, it takes me back to those dark days and I end up in a dark place.  Being divorced from him still, I cannot escape him because we share a child.  Something I never knew was that my dad was the exact same way with my mother, my biological father, that is.  He was a beast, incapable of showing love, a truly heartless individual.  My father, like my ex husband, take the word cruelty to a whole new stratosphere.  I can remember when I was 4, I heard my mom calling out for help and the sound was coming from my parents bedroom.  I ran into the room, to find my father and mother, both on the floor, with my father on top of my mother, choking her.  He was strangling my mother and without even thinking, I jumped on his back and was hitting him and telling him to let her go.  I don't know who pulled me off his back, whether it was the nanny or housemaid, doesn't matter, but when the commotion was over, I asked my father what he was doing to my mom, and he lied to me.  He told me that my mom was choking on a bone and he was helping her.  My mother never told any of us the extent of our father's cruelty towards her.  And since she never spoke of it, and still refuses to fully divulge the full story of how my father treated her, I still remember bits and pieces, of what I was able to see first hand.  It amazes me how my mother and I married heinous human beings, if they can even be called human.  Two men, made of the same clothe, spawned from the same evil.  My mom was very fortunate in finding my stepfather, my papa.  Such a gentle, loving man, toward my mother and us.  He doesn't see my mother as chattel, but as his partner, his better half.  They both seek solace in one another.  They found each other 12 years ago and have been together ever since.  My mother now has peace and has a husband who loves and adores her and sees her worth.  I've been divorced now for 5 years and pray that the Lord will bless me with an amazing man of my own, who too will see my worth, like He blessed my mother.

Comments

musco said…
I feel your pain and hurt but there's a need for the hurt to go because it will always cloud your judgement of men.

We are not all evil ...
Young Grumbler said…
You have gone through a lot *hugs* and the fact that you can talk about it and not use that experience to paint all other men, means that positive things are coming your way
God will give you that wonderful man that will add to and enrich your life, just like he did for your mum
YankeeNaija said…
@ Musco: the thing is, i don't think my judgement is clouded where other men are concerned cause i have hope that not all men are like him, but the experience just makes me more aware and makes me pay attn to the signals.

@ YG: thanks for the hug. In Jesus name, Amen.
Sugarking said…
Amen dear!!! That day is just round the corner!!
chinnyugoji said…
Amen!! May we be delivered from evil. It takes courage to break free from abuse.
Lara said…
*Hugs*...you have gone through so much...God will give your own man in time
Naijalines said…
You will meet him when you least expect it to happen.
YankeeNaija said…
@ Lara and NJ: Thank you. I actually had a dream last night of this uber nice guy and in the dream, we were walking together, going to so many places, for the whole day and he held my hand the entire time. At a time, I even wondered if he was getting tired of holding my hand and as if he heard my thoughts, readjusted his hand in mine and continued holding my hand.

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