Munchkin and I went to Disneyland yesterday and had a blast. I've always had it in my mind to spend the whole day there and realized, after yesterday, that's a foolhardy decision (lol). We got there around 10am, spent the better part of the day at California Adventures and then around 4, maybe 5, traipsed over to Disneyland and didn't leave till 11pm. Let me just say, my feet have never hurt as much as they do now. Over twelve frigging hours of walking. At round or close to 9pm, Munchkin was eating his hot dog and I told him we had to sit down and he said, "Yes mommy, we need to sit down cause my feet are hurting." Damn. So we sit, and we sat for about an hour. We sat and watched the fireworks display and I told him we had to get going and he responds, "No mommy. You said we were going to leave when Disneyland closes. You promised mommy, you promised." Disneyland was scheduled to close at midnight. Mind you, when I said this, I did not take into account all the walking and standing we'd be doing. So, after another hour, I told Munchkin we had to go and he agreed. As we walked to the car, he was complaining about his feet hurting and I felt so bad for him. I got him to the car as fast as I could and as soon as he got into the car, he knocked out. Next day and our feet are killing us, but if we had the chance to go back, we'd go. Now, I don't know if I'd do the whole day bit, but we'd sure have a great time. Take care.
Life sucks period. I don't know why I would want to continue it but there's this annoying resiliency within me that won't allow me to give up and I'm grateful, I suppose. There's hope in my heart, to see past the negative and focus on the positive. I'm trying. I focus so much on my failings that I don't see my successes. I've decided to see a therapist. One of my co-workers had success with her therapist so I asked her to give me her therapist's number. I need to unlock whatever it is within me that causing all of this. I want to be whole. I want to be better. Not jagged pieces with no purpose.