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Showing posts from December, 2009

Regret

It follows me like a shadow. I'm haunted by it, as if by an unsettled spirit that cannot move on.
There's nothing I can do to change the past, though it's been on my mind as of late. I wish I could go back in time, to when I was fourteen, for three weeks and change my life. I would do so many things differently.
Why is it on my mind so much? It's as if I can't escape it. The life I'm living now is the life I will have till I die, so why is it on my mind to go back in time and change things?
What if... That's the question that plagues me. What if... Not much I can do about it now but just move forward, press on and live out the rest of this life. Maybe if I'm allowed to come back in another life, I pray I can remember this life to bypass most of the errors I made in this one.
Regret sucks.

Desperation

Desperation can make an individual do things they never thought they could or would do. Situations can arise that prompt an individual to believe that they need to take extreme measures in order to get past the situation they find themselves in. But this is where faith in God and the stronghold of God comes into play.
I found myself in a financial bind and considered all of my options. I thought about going a certain route which I knew was so out of character for me but as I said, I was desperate. I thought that I could handle the situation and get myself out of it. But as it came time to say my noon prayer, I was thinking about king Hezekiah and how when he faced a stressful situation, he tried to handle it himself and made things worse. He then turned to God and God turned things around for him, making things better for him than they were in the beginning. I too have turned to God and placed it all in His hands. What power do I possess? Some, but not in the vicinity that …

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I saw someone's status update on Facebook that said she was walking on God's promises and i felt what she said. I feel as if God's promises, blessings for my life are manifesting. I used to feel so unworthy of such love from God, because I am a sinner, an imperfect human being. But, He spoke to me and told me that I cannot discount myself. He told me I had worth. He told me that I should walk into His storage house, full of blessings, and take my share. He is God.
I thank you Father for your ever present, ever constant love for me. Thank you my Lord for the forgiveness of my sins and the multitude of blessings you have bestowed on me. May your name be glorified. Forever and ever.
Amen.