My (random) thoughts

Two thoughts for today: 1.  Women drivers. I'm sorry ladies, but I have to get this off my chest.  Some, not all, women should not be allowed to drive.  If you must drive, don't drive an SUV.  I was going to the post office this afternoon and saw this SUV pulling out of a drive way.  The person driving was pulling out like she had no room whatsoever to move.  I stopped a good half mile behind her, just to be safe.  lol.  Which reminded me of the time I was a student at Uni.  I was parking my car and this big, white Yukon tried to park in front of me.  I just knew it was a woman, a short one at that, driving and sure enough, when the door opened, short, hispanic chick gets out of the car.  Oy! 2.  I saw this very provocative movie last night, called I am Dina.  Great movie.  The movie, in a nutshell, is about an adorable little girl and the death of her mother and how her mother's death impacts her life.  Gre...

Call it what you will: maturity, getting older, etc, but there's something that happens when you get to a certain level of understanding, a certain age.  When I was younger, I felt the world revolved around me.  Well, didn't it? lol.  I took no notice of anything else or anyone else for that matter but me.  My only concerns were of my wants, needs, etc.  If put in a situation where someone couldn't bend to my wishes, I took it personally, as an affront towards me.  But now, I find myself constantly saying, "I understand", because I actually do.  It's just odd and I hope I'm making sense.  Take my desire for my bff.  I've come to terms that I love this man beyond anything I can imagine but the practical side has won out over the emotional side.  The younger or rather immature me (cause maturity is not a sign of age, but wisdom, lol) would have thrown all caution to the wind and professed my feelings to him and let the chips...

I guess it's no secret that my taste in music varies.  So, last night/early this morning, woke up for whatever reason, went downstairs and turned the tv on.  I usually don't go toward the music channels, so I was just changing the channels when I came across this video with these two guys, w/ their two sons at the park.  The video got me really cause it was too cute then I started paying attention to the song.  Great beat, oh man the beat.  Then the vocals.  Singer is reminiscent of Mick Jagger.  Great cross between blues/rock/r&b.  Turned the tv off and immediately downloaded it.  So looking forward to those long drives to Palmdale and back or even visiting my sister up north and having this play as the soundtrack to my drive.  Nice!  Lest I forget:  Band - The Black Keys,   Song: Tighten up.  Gotta check it out.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpaPBCBjSVc&playnext=1&videos=pwgPJYuHA44...

This past Saturday, God spoke to me and told me I need to let go of the anger.  I honestly didn't believe it, at first.  Me?  Angry?  At what?  At who?  But then, as the day progressed, I really thought about it and on Sunday, it came to me.  As you know, I was married five years ago for two years.  Even till Sunday, I could never bring myself to call my ex husband that, my ex husband.  I always called him Munchkin's dad.  And so, I decided I have to let go of the anger, in order to make room for love to come in.  Since he and I don't speak, I decided to write an open letter, to say what I need to say. Dear Uzoma, I forgive you.  And ask that you forgive me.  For a long time I hated you and thought that I felt nothing where you were concerned.  But it was not true.  I was hurt from all the vile and cruel things you said about me and did to me, after our marriage dissolved.  I just put them aside, thinking ...

Being married to the spawn of hell was the worst experience of my life.  It's interesting to be married to and live with someone who is morally ambiguous.  I don't think about my ex husband.  I sometimes even forget that there was a time I was married to him because I've somehow, as a defense mechanism, blocked it out of my memory.  But when he rears his ugly (literally speaking) head, it takes me back to those dark days and I end up in a dark place.  Being divorced from him still, I cannot escape him because we share a child.  Something I never knew was that my dad was the exact same way with my mother, my biological father, that is.  He was a beast, incapable of showing love, a truly heartless individual.  My father, like my ex husband, take the word cruelty to a whole new stratosphere.  I can remember when I was 4, I heard my mom calling out for help and the sound was coming from my parents bedroom.  I ran into the room, to find my fa...

I was so bored, to no end, yesterday.  Oy!  To alleviate my boredom, I even resorted to cleaning out my closet, getting ride of items I know I won't be wearing anytime soon or ever again.  School resumes next month, I'm probably getting antsy cause I'm itching to be productive again.  Who knows.  But it's so weird.  I went to bed really late last night and woke up relatively early and I've been up since.  I'm contemplating sharing the dream I had last night.  It was pretty weird, really bizarre actually.  In the dream, I have two lovely friends.  We do everything together.  Something happened where we were accused of a crime, don't really remember what it was, but it was pretty bad.  So bad in fact that we were wanted by the police.  We had decided to make a run for it because we were given some sort of insight into what was to befall us.  We saw where we were taken into custody and were ...

1.  go to google 2.  type in "lol, limewire" 3.  go to bottom where you'd normally click "search" but instead, click "I'm feeling lucky" 4.  Enjoy.

What's an "oh shit" moment?  Well, it's those moments when something happens and you say, you guessed it.  I'm admitting something here that I've finally come to terms with.  I'm falling in love with my best friend, my best mate.  He has no idea and thankfully will never know cause he doesn't know my blog exists.  I've known him for ages now or what seems like forever.  We talk everyday and sometimes into the night about everything.  He knows me.  I mean, really knows me and doesn't judge me, in any way.  He is the male version of me.  It came as a shock to me today that I'm falling in love with him.  Why today of all days?  I have no idea, but it fell on me like a ton of bricks today, when I was talking to him and looking outside my window.  The thing now is what to do about it.  I have the answer.  Nothing.  Absofreaking nothing.  That's what I'm going to do about it.  I look at it this way. ...

Today being Sunday, I just wanted to share the happiness I feel today, basking in the love of God.  Lately, I felt a sort of disconnect with God, felt I was veering off the path He had for me, but unlike before, where I would wallow in the muck and mire of sin, this time, I fought against the tides of temptation and the desires of this world and prayed for God to help me find my way back to Him and for His guidance.  Today, my prayer was answered because I feel this overwhelming sense of love, this wave of love, from Him, has washed over me and I am so grateful.  I listen to the radio, 102.3 KJLH, on Sundays cause they play sermons from different churches, AME churches, throughout Los Angeles, and one particular preacher touched on something that spoke to me.  He talked about how no other person can dictate the kind of person we are meant to be.  No one has the authority to say that we are one way when God created us to be another.  He spoke about how ...

All I can say is, HUBBA HUBBA.  Latest crush alert.  Dude is just too fine.  Too bad he's shorter than me.  I'm watching 2012 and remembered that I've had a crush on this man for ages.  Dude is just too fine AND he speaks with a British accent and when I googled him (yes, I google), I read where he went to a drama school in Scotland, so I'm thinking there's a chance he can do a Scottish accent upon request.  lol.  (A girl can dream).  Dude is just too fine.  I could write a song about his lips.  Ok, that's enough.  lol.

I have this pet peeve, several actually, but right now, my focus is on pronunciation.  When a word is pronounced incorrectly, it's like nails down a chalkboard for me.  Seriously, it could drive me over the edge.  Case in point: I watch the new Food Channel and I'm slowly starting to love it.  Granted, my feeling is that the Food Network created this channel so that they could continue to bombard us with the usual celebrity chefs.  I was hoping that the Food Channel would be a medium, as they initially advertised it, that would be used to showcase unheard of chefs, cuisines from different cultures, etc.  But I digress.  My issue, ladies and gentlemen, is with one particular personality on the Food Channel.  I'm so annoyed with this dude that I don't even remember his name.  I think his first name is Daryl.  Well, Mr. Daryl has committed the sin of all sins.  Wait for it...When he says the word Vodka, he says Voka...

I stole this quote because it said far better than me what makes for a lasting relationship, be it marriage or whatever.   "The longevity of our marriage started first with our attraction...then the development of a strong friendship.  The friendship developed into a deep loving relationship filled with shared interests and experiencing honesty and mutual respect for one another.  This all rests on the foundation of our strong Christian faith!"

I've been having thoughts, as of late, of when I was a little kid, in Nigeria, before coming to the U.S.  I was born in Gusau or what used to be called Gusau, Sokoto State.  I heard they changed the name of the town I was born.  Anyway, I was born in Gusau and was there till just before we left for America.  I can remember the days, months leading up to our departure.  I can remember we left Gusau and were in our house in Festac.  I loved that house.  It was a new development, at the time.  The front had cobblestones and it had a roundabout. I can remember flying on the plane and being terrified.  Before our departure, my friends and I had been talking about how you can find out if your plane will crash by the color of the clouds.  If the clouds were white to blue, you were safe.  If the clouds were yellow to orange, you'd be fine, but would experience extreme turbulence.  BUT, if they clouds were red, your plane would crash an...

Do you ever get the feeling, THAT feeling about someone?  You know what I mean.  That happy, giddy, happy-go-lucky feeling that makes you think that nothing in the world can ever get you down because you can attribute that feeling as coming from someone?  Yeah, I got that feeling.  That feeling that makes me have a spring in my step and a song in my voice.  Totally cheesy, I know, but it's like the good feeling I'm feeling can repel all the bad stuff out there.   Sort of like Kevlar, repels all the bullets that try to hit me.

My new crush.  He's just so yummy.  He's like a delicious trippple scoop of caramel ice cream and all I need is a spoon or just take a lick.  He's just so  hot.  Don't know what's come over me.  I think it's cause he looks like this guy I had a thing for when I lived in Naija many moons ago.  It's the nose, I think.  That boy had the same kind of nose, but was much darker.  Any hoo...Yeah, I'm still thinking about Kevin Clash and the thing that trips me out is he's almost 50.  How do I know?  I googled him and found out his bday is in September.  He has a kid, but I don't know if he's married.  I remember watching the FoodNetwork and saw this really cute guy on Bobby Flay's show.  Come to find out, it was Kevin Clash, haha, go figure.  So, yeah.  The only downside is that he's American.  If he were Nigerian and 6'4, he'd be perfect.  lol.  But whatevs.  I'm not in a position to ...

Genuine answers from GED exams:   Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?   A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Stole the above joke from another blogger.  It was too funny to just leave lying there.  lol.

I was tagged to do this by T notes and I felt honored cause I'd never been tagged in blogville before, so here goes. 1. Right now I'm feeling : happy and at peace. 2. When I'm alone I feel like : how I feel depends on if it's alone time that's self imposed or forced on me. 3. When I'm surrounded by people : If it's people I know, I'm chill, relaxed and comfortable. If it's people I don't know, I keep quiet, listen and watch what's going on around me. 4. One thing I hate is : cruelty, bordering on the verge of evil. 5. One thing I really like about myself is : I have a good heart and can be one the nicest people you'll ever meet. 6. When I'm feeling sad : I used to just cry but now, I cry to the Lord and He fixes it. 7. When I daydream it's usually about : whatever. I could be daydreaming about a particular dish, dessert, more babies or a guy. 8. I'm afraid of : failure, not amounting to anythin...

To all the men out there. God love you, but I DO NOT UNDERSTAND your species, at all!!! I've been trying to figure out how to go about this particular post cause it's about my recent ex bf. He called me yesterday morning, around 11:30. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. We haven't communicated since the last text he sent me. So, I see a missed call. I initially thought that my phone had somehow dialed him by mistake (my purse was on top of my phone) but as I checked my phone, he had actually called ME. He didn't leave a message. So, I called him back and I asked if he had just called me and he said yes because he wanted to know how I was doing. I told him I was doing fine and asked how he was. As we're talking, I'm thinking to myself that this is pretty odd cause we're chatting as if we just spoke a couple days ago. I was also wondering if I would melt under his charm. But I didn't. HAHA! Success! Oh wait, I should save th...

So I just finished cleaning. Actually, I vacuumed and shampooed the carpets. It wasn't hard at all, but do I like it? Hell no. But it must be done. Would I consider myself domesticated? Yes. I'm chuckling. Why? Cause I'm thinking of the image of the housewife, who to the world, appears absolutely pristine, but in the bedroom, looks like a sex goddess or a dominatrix. LMAO!!! Sorry. Anyway...back to what I'm writing about. What am I writing about? I think I was thinking about what is it men expect when they marry a woman? Do they want an extension of their mothers? Do they want what? What do they want? We grow up being told by our mothers and fathers (sometimes) that we must learn to take care of our own households and we're told we have to know how to cook and make sure our homes are clean. But who tells us how to please our men in the bedroom? I never had THAT conversation with my mom. My mom never told me that I need to make sure my husband n...

I was just downstairs, eating breakfast with the Munchkin, and I was thinking about what it is I'm looking for in an SO. I should stop saying that cause I don't want a domestic partner, I want a husband. Gad zooks, I said it! I want a husband. And was thinking of putting up a list of attributes. But then, I started to wonder, I'm making up this list right? What about the list of a guy? Would I fit the list he'd make up? That is, if guys really make lists of the kind of girl/woman/chick they dig. So, I'm sort of turning things around. I'm listing all the stuff about me that I think a guy/dude/man would dig (lol). Well, maybe not a list, per se, but whatever it is, just go with me on this. So, I'll describe myself. I'm brown-skinned, the color of chocolate. I'm tall, 5'11. I'm not fat and not skinny, somewhere in between. I have both tits and ass, meaning my breasts are big and my butt is big. My hair, which I just dyed black, ...

I no longer have a perm. My hair is natural. I decided to go natural, without even realizing I was going natural, about 4-5 years ago. I just got so tired of relaxing my hair and the burning and scars it caused to my scalp. So, I just put my hair in braids. I'd change braids every 6 months, not giving my hair a chance to breathe. Then last year, I stopped the braids entirely and my relaxed hair grew out. My hair now is just great, healthy, long (past shoulders, trying to get to arm pit length) and I love that it's so easy to take care of. A couple years ago, I pressed my hair for the firs time, by myself. I was terrified, but I eventually got the hang of it. I love having straight hair and would press and flat iron my hair once a month. But, I became worried about applying so much heat to my hair and now decided to just forgo the heat and just do braid-outs. All this is because I was remarking, to myself, how simple it is nowadays to take care of my hair. I washed ...

I love this group. They're a Swedish jazz duo who make some of the most amazing music. Summer Sun is a great song. Sung by this beautiful singer, Yukimi Nagano. Also, Baby come to me, which is also sung by Yukimi Nagano. Seriously, a great group and great songs. I found out about them purely by accident, go figure. lol. I was on where else, Youtube. I clicked on some random video of this woman walking around the mall somewhere and in the background she had this song that was just so catchy. Found out it was a group named Koop. I searched for them on Youtube and found Summer Sun. I fell instantly and of course, went to itunes and bought the song. I played the hell out of it. Then I found Baby come to me. The video was reminiscent of the 40's. So retro. I was on Youtube again this morning and somehow stumbled on a Koop video and I was compelled to write about them. I was even checking out concert dates and of course the last concert they did was in 2008 and th...

I'm contemplating having a completely different forum for my other love, food. I love food. I love to eat. I'm like Queen Latifah's character in the movie she did with Common where she said, "I hope you have a big wallet cause I'm not one of those salad eatin' chicks." That's me. I could write an ode to food. I could marry food. I love the idea of traveling, not for the locale, but for the food they're known for. That's how much I love food. So, I'm seriously contemplating having another blog for and about food. I've had this idea for a while, but wasn't sure if I'd really do it. Still seriously contemplating it but I'm not sure whether it'll be about the foods I love, foods I've eaten or foods I'm longing to eat. We'll see. But yeah, food is good. I love food. lol. sorry, being silly. Peace.

I'm watching P.S. I love you and though I've seen this movie before, the premise of finding a love like that, like in all rom coms, I have to wonder. I love the idea of finding "the one." The person who encompasses all I want in an SO. I have this ideal in my mind but I wonder if what I want is practical. I think when it boils down to it, I want someone who I can easily talk to. Someone who I can laugh with,who I can make laugh and vice versa. Someone who is wildly intelligent. Someone who sees me as the absolute cat's meow, the bee knees. I've been reading romance novels since I was a freshman in high school and have always known that I want the best that love has to offer. I want to have that person who, at the end of the day, is someone I'm happy with and I want him to feel the same about me. I've been married before but it wasn't the stuff that dreams are made of. I have this theory that people should have practice marriages, where t...

I've been here, waiting patiently for my turn to get some attention, but it's always the twins that live upstairs from me that get noticed first. Sometimes, they're so obvious, showing off all they have to offer, but it's the quiet ones, like me, that you have to watch out for. Finally, he sees me and I smile, even drool a little, couldn't help it. He reaches for me and I melt in sheer anticipation. He knows how to touch me and stroke me and I just ooze with so much joy. Even though the twins up stairs are the ones he sees first, it's always me that he ends with last.

Munchkin and I went to Disneyland yesterday and had a blast. I've always had it in my mind to spend the whole day there and realized, after yesterday, that's a foolhardy decision (lol). We got there around 10am, spent the better part of the day at California Adventures and then around 4, maybe 5, traipsed over to Disneyland and didn't leave till 11pm. Let me just say, my feet have never hurt as much as they do now. Over twelve frigging hours of walking. At round or close to 9pm, Munchkin was eating his hot dog and I told him we had to sit down and he said, "Yes mommy, we need to sit down cause my feet are hurting." Damn. So we sit, and we sat for about an hour. We sat and watched the fireworks display and I told him we had to get going and he responds, "No mommy. You said we were going to leave when Disneyland closes. You promised mommy, you promised." Disneyland was scheduled to close at midnight. Mind you, when I said this, I did not take i...

I scoffed at this headline I read on Google News. How can anyone, male or female, take credit for someone changing their previous habits once meeting them? I think it's more along the lines that that individual finally gets it. It, being that elusive (fill in th blank) that they've been searching for. When a guy, who is a major player, finally meets a descent chick and his player ways subside, I believe he's finally found all he's been searching for. Maybe he's been with so many women because he's been looking for whatever his ideal is and when he stops, he's found it in that particular female. That all being said, that chick should not take credit like she has some power to control him and make him change his ways. And even if she believes it, she shouldn't voice it out loud. She's only looking for trouble at that point, because he may think twice and go back to his old ways, just to prove a point. Any hoo, that's it folks. My two cents...

I was thinking about this post yesterday but decided to post it today. I had been wondering how long it had been since I'd made the covenant with God to be celibate and didn't know. I traced back my steps and found out that the last day I had sex was May 24th. I decided shortly thereafter that I would, for the foreseeable future, be celibate. Why did I decide on this path? Simple. I was tired of the direction I was going, sexually, personally, spiritually, physically and I knew something had to change. My relationship with my boyfriend, A, had ended and so I sought sexual comfort from C, my go to guy for just such a situation. C and I never had a formal relationship, it just didn't work for us. It was unspoken but we knew that ours was just a physical relationship, meant to fill in the cracks here and there. So it was exactly the reason I sent C a text on May 23rd, after 11pm, closer to midnight. I asked him what his plans were and he said nothing and I asked i...

I have another crush...Bradley Whitford. White actor. He's appeared on The West Wing and a slew of other shows. I'd never liked Bradley Whitford. I'd never thought he was in any way, shape or form, remotely attractive. But now, I have a crush on him. As I've mentioned before, I have Netflix and I was able to watch the show I loved the most, since Friends, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. When this show first aired, I set my schedule around it. It came on Monday nights, I believe, about 4 years ago. I loved it. It starred Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford, Amanda Peet, Steven Weber, D.L. Hughley and Columbus Short. Great show. So, imagine my surprise when it was cancelled. It was well written, probably one of the best written shows to come around in a LONG time. Intelligently written. It's a show from Aaron Sorkin, so what would you expect. So, anyhoo back to Bradley Whitford. So, I was able to watch the entire season on Netflix and I started seeing Brad...

The hours of prayer are not lost on me, but I usually didn't keep them. I'd be aware of them and as the minutes passed, so would the hour of prayer. I'd come up with some excuse, as if I were talking to a person and not Him, who can see and hear and sense all. It's not even considered naiveté, but just wanton rebellion. I'd make up excuses because I was too chicken shit to say it to Him that I didn't want to acknowledge the hours of prayer. Funny thing happened... Now, I pray, without question. I honor all hours of prayer, though midnight, until recently, was sorely neglected. Even if it's quickly touching base with Him, I do it. Prayer. The greatest secret weapon that the majority knows about but rarely uses. So yeah, without question, I pray because I want Him to see that I'm front and center. This way, He doesn't have to go searching for me cause I'm right there.

I figured, since I have a list of I don'ts, why not have a list of things I like. As Bobby Brown, the king of R&B, said, "It's my prerogative." 1. I like chocolate. No need to elaborate. 2. I like intelligence. Actually, I love it. It's the biggest turn on. There's nothing sexier than talking with someone and he can speak on matters that are going on today, that are relevant and has knowledge of the most random things, like the study of mollusks. 3. I like funny. I love to laugh. Don't give me a box of candy, Godiva, or flowers, red, pink or burgundy carnations. Just make me laugh so hard that I cry. 4. I like watching the Food Network and the new Cooking Channel. There's just something about food, in whatever capacity, that evokes a certain feeling, emotion or memory. I can eat. 5. I like to be adventurous, where it counts. I like to explore, go off the beaten path once in a while. I've been planning my dream trip...

What, pray tell, does K POP stand for? Korean pop music, of course. I've become addicted to this group, Brown Eyed Girl and their song Abracadabra. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BktWxA5W09A. I'm addicted to Youtube. If it's not google, it's Youtube. Anyway, I was on the page of a Canadian couple I subscribe to and they were doing a round up of their fav K Pop songs of 2009 and this song was their #1. I was hooked. I've always loved music, all kinds of music. I don't limit myself to a particular genre because of the color of my skin. How boring would that be? That's like me only allowing myself to only eat one particular item in a big ass buffet. I love all types of music. I've loved pop, rap, and r&b. One year, when I was 17, I only allowed myself to listen to K Earth 101, the oldies station out here and nothing else. I was so into oldies back then that for my birthday, one of my friends bought me an Aretha Franklin CD with all h...