I freaked out today. Why? I realized I have a crush on someone I don't even know, someone I've never met, who I'll never meet. How bizarre. I finally had to admit it today that I liked him from the moment I read his words. He intrigued me and the more I read his stuff, the more I liked what I read and the more curious I was about the person behind the words. He writes like I talk. Through his words, I see him as charming, witty, intelligent, self deprecating, sincere, wildly funny, I can't seem to find any more adjectives to describe him. Today, I came to terms with the fact that I'm attracted to him, someone I don't really know, someone I'll never really know. I started reading his archival pieces and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I stopped midway through his second archival piece because the feeling of like was too overwhelming. I haven't been to his blog since. I'll go back and finish reading so that I can be up to date with his current stuff, but I just needed to come to terms with my feelings and figure out what to do with them. In the past, I'd make it a point to flirt incessantly and indirectly let him know that I liked him, but now, I don't do such things. I've undergone a transformation and I like it. I'm still getting used to the new me and I want this new me to stay. But back to the bloke I have the hots for, yeah, like I said, that's not going anywhere and I'm fine with that, but it's nice to know that I can have those feelings and not lose myself over it.
Setting my heart free
I'm going through a divorce and ending a marriage that lasted two years. Two long, hard and hurtful years. I married a monster, an evil man. When I say evil, I mean evil like when we were kids and we had to have on night lights because we were afraid of the boogeyman. That kind of evil. A man free of any sort of remorse. A man with no conscience. More on this character later. Trust me, I will totally spill the beans but things have to be in place first. Anyway, when my marriage first ended, I was of the mind that I was free and I could move on and find the one for me, the one to truly love me the way I'd always known I'd be loved, my soulmate. Needless to say, I'm still single. Sure there are men out there who are interested but the problem is, I'm not. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of giving away my heart. I'm afraid of trusting someone so completely and utterly. I'm afraid of being myself. With my soon to be ex-husband, I trusted him impli...
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LOL!
@T.Notes- 4rm d very 1st day I read your blog, I just knew thr's was going to be trouble on blogville!
where's dt ur wife's no sef?
LOL!
Whassa problem mehn,stalking me all over the place?~!FYI,this is private discussion-YankeeNaija n T.notes only--follow the trail!
Yay,where were we?!
LOL!
'Tis much easier to know people through their words.....