I'm just going to fuck. This whole love business is for the birds. I only ever felt this way after the dissolution of my "marriage", where I just didn't want any emotional entanglements, just my physical needs met. The desire to procreate was of utmost importance at one point, but I wondered today, do I really want marriage, another baby? I honestly didn't know what I wanted and maybe that's why I have all these failed relationships. I don't even know where to start because I suppose, it's been ingrained in my head that my mission in life was to get married, have babies and take care of my home. I wonder what I want? At present, I have some carnal needs that need to be met but once that's done, then what? What do I want? What am I looking for? Fuck if I know. I have to deprogram, reprogram myself, start all over. Fuck me.
Setting my heart free
I'm going through a divorce and ending a marriage that lasted two years. Two long, hard and hurtful years. I married a monster, an evil man. When I say evil, I mean evil like when we were kids and we had to have on night lights because we were afraid of the boogeyman. That kind of evil. A man free of any sort of remorse. A man with no conscience. More on this character later. Trust me, I will totally spill the beans but things have to be in place first. Anyway, when my marriage first ended, I was of the mind that I was free and I could move on and find the one for me, the one to truly love me the way I'd always known I'd be loved, my soulmate. Needless to say, I'm still single. Sure there are men out there who are interested but the problem is, I'm not. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of giving away my heart. I'm afraid of trusting someone so completely and utterly. I'm afraid of being myself. With my soon to be ex-husband, I trusted him impli...
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Can't believe it's been almost a year!
Just catching up on your posts...and sending massive hugzzzz!
Drop me an email and let's catchup properly asap!
T.Notes