I'm just going to fuck. This whole love business is for the birds. I only ever felt this way after the dissolution of my "marriage", where I just didn't want any emotional entanglements, just my physical needs met. The desire to procreate was of utmost importance at one point, but I wondered today, do I really want marriage, another baby? I honestly didn't know what I wanted and maybe that's why I have all these failed relationships. I don't even know where to start because I suppose, it's been ingrained in my head that my mission in life was to get married, have babies and take care of my home. I wonder what I want? At present, I have some carnal needs that need to be met but once that's done, then what? What do I want? What am I looking for? Fuck if I know. I have to deprogram, reprogram myself, start all over. Fuck me.
Today is my off day from both work and school and i pretty much stayed up all night, watching tv and now blogging. I'm a bag of mixed emotions because of the mayhem going on in my mother's house and the fact that i'm back w/ my ex boyfriend, I'm very happy about that. CG is totally out of the picture, the twat, but for the most part, I'm doing ok. I have God on my side. Truly, psalm 27 is really coming in handy during these trying times. V10: my mother and father may abandon me but the Lord will take care of me. I love the Lord and He has truly heard my cry. God is good. CG Well, last Saturday, i drove CG to the airport before going into work. I'd already been having my misgivings about him but I just shook them off. So, Saturday night he lands in NY. He first sent me a text to let me know he'd gotten there safely earlier in the day. He later called me to chat but my sister, cousin and i were driving to a party and were using my phone as our na
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Can't believe it's been almost a year!
Just catching up on your posts...and sending massive hugzzzz!
Drop me an email and let's catchup properly asap!
T.Notes