So almost immediately after my relationship ended, I joined okcupid and that in itself is an interesting endeavor.  I've long since given up on the idea of ever finding love online, it gives me something to do.  But that's not the purpose of this post.  The purpose of this post is to excise my frustration/sadness.  I don't date black guys anymore, I date primarily white guys.  But I have started making an exception and there was this guy who's 6'9 and he had an interesting post.  I responded because that's what he said he responds to.  I actually expected a response but instead he checked out my profile and left no response.  Look, I'm not ugly but I'm not a bimbette bombshell either.  I just don't understand why I have to settle for someone I'm not attracted to because the ones I'm attracted to think I don't pass muster?  It's irritating.

I don't know how long this will last but I'm just tired of the whole idea of relationships and have decided to not do it anymore.  I think at this point if it hasn't happened, it's probably not meant to.  I'm trying/learning to accept it.  I've never really been that person who goes out and does things but because I'm sad or whatever, I don't want to be a shut-in.  

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