Day 9

I woke up this morning sort of at a loss as to what to do, what to eat.  Food consumes my thoughts.  I'm afraid to eat for fear that I'll go overboard.

Last night, frustrated and looking for any sort of help, I was on youtube and saw something about starving something or other and it showed two women's stories, one who is anorexic and the other who is bulimic.  It led me to trying to see if I could be anorexic cause being bulimic wasn't working out, no kidding.

I googled anorexic something or other and came across links to something called The Anorexic Diet.  I looked into it.  I purchased the ebook, read it and promptly asked for my money back.

Some of the things they prescribed were sort of the basics for losing weight (drinking lots of water, eating complex carbs, lots of fruits, nuts, not mixing proteins and carbs, exercising), things that somehow got lost in the shuffle, for me.

So today, on my way to the Library, I went to Trader Joe's.  I made a bee line for the produce section.  I got some strawberries, pineapples, fresh vietnamese spring rolls and a salad with soba noodles, chicken and other veggies.

The ebook also emphasized eating 5-6 small meals and chewing food for longer, so that it triggers something in your brain that makes your stomach think it's fuller, faster.

We'll see how it goes.

I don't know when my weird relationship w/ food happened.  It's truly terrifying, the notion of losing control and eating massive amounts of food and not being to just eat normally.


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