Tit for tat

I was wondering something the other day: relationships are based on mutuality, I know that, but does that mean that for whatever you partner does for you, you do for them?  Should there be some running tally of what you did for them and it should be evened out by them doing for you?  I'm curious.  Truth be told, I'm a huge proponent for that.  I think because I feel I do a lot and I want stuff done for me in return.  

I wonder, really, can there be a true balance in any relationship?  Is it the deal w/ relationships that one person gives more than the other and one person takes more than the other?  I wonder if there will ever really be a sort of level in relationships.  

Like I was telling my love the other day, I never thought I was capable of love.  I mean, I love, but I meant I never thought I could be capable of loving a man, to where it consumes my whole being.  I know that I wanted to love and be loved but wasn't sure I was capable of it.  Aside from my marriage that lasted 2 yrs, I've never had a relationship that lasted more than 6 months.  My love and I are in month 5 and I still want to be around him, so that's saying quite a lot.  

I used to look at other people in relationships and wonder why it was I couldn't find that kind of joy with another person.  I used to blame it on the fact that I didn't have a model to base it on, but even w/ parents who are married for eons, there are still those individuals that are so fucked up, they too can't understand the concept of loving another person just as, if not more than, you love yourself.

I think I'm just going on a bit because I felt the urge to write and the notion of tit for tat came into my head.  

You know, I sometimes imagine myself like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and The City, where she's sitting in front of her computer and writing and you hear the voice over.  Yeah, I feel that way every time I write now. Don't say it, I already know I sound retarded.  

Comments

activeghman said…
I don't think "tit for tat" in a relationship is a good idea. When you love somebody you will want to do things for them unconditionally. At the start of any relationship it could happen that one will do more for the other than vice versa. However, sometimes along the line the roles could be reversed. For example you are from a rich family and marry a person with less money. At the beginning you could be the one spending more money on your partner. However, there may come a time when your partner could become rich and he will reciprocate if there is mutual love. Take Michelle and Barack for example; when they met Barack was a student and Michelle was already an accomplished lawyer working for a reputable law firm. Im sure at the beginning Michelle will do more for Barack that Barack can do for her. Now he is the POTUS and it is probably the other way round. So if you love someone and he is also into you then it doesn;t matter if you do things 10times more for him than he does for you.

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