Unexpected Event

April 25th, 2012 - I miscarried on this day.  I was about 7-8 weeks pregnant with my baby, whom I presumed was a girl.  She would have been the first of many children that my boyfriend, the love of my life, Alex and I, would have had.  She was a miracle for him, because he thought he was incapable of having children and she brought joy to me.

January 15th, 2012 - On this day, I fully committed to Alex.  I finally got it.  I finally understood that all the things I was chasing were foolish and had finally found the one person I wanted to be with.  Not just be with but to be around.  I've thought about how I feel about this man and have decided that I'd rather be unhappy with him than deliriously happy with anyone, that's how much I love him.  Love is not even enough to convey my feelings for this man.  The Saturday before the 15th, I questioned why it was I hadn't gotten my soul mate because apparently everyone else had theirs and I was wondering where mine was and the greatest joke of all, he was right there all along.  God had given me my soul mate when I was 15 years old, had reunited me with him when I was 32 years old and I toyed around with him, fucked him in the head, dropped him more times than I can count but brought me back to him when I was 36 years old.  Talk about a hard headed, pain in the ass, that is/was me.

More to come, just for whatever reason wanted to bang this thought out.  I need to get back to writing.  And, I missed my folks.

Comments

Cleopatra Jones said…
i'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. i hope you are doing okay and i'll be keeping you in my prayers.
May 6, 2012 at 6:47 PM
musco said…
damn!!!

Glad you are much better and back!

Where have I been?
May 11, 2012 at 12:20 AM
YankeeNaija said…
@Musco: exactly. Where have YOU been? I saw your wedding band in your picture on FB. It's surreal that you're married. How are you?
May 12, 2012 at 4:25 PM
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