In love with being in love

For whatever reason, this saying has been on my mind. I first heard it from a friend of mine when we were sophomores in high school. It was after school, and we were waiting in front of school for our respective rides. She was telling me about the dude she was dating. They'd been together, off and on, for a couple years and she wondered if she was really in love with him or in love with the idea of being in love. Honestly, I didn't understand the concept. I'd always thought that when you fell in love, you knew it. At least that's what the romance novels said (lol)). Fast forward to this time and I'm contemplating that idea. Was I in love with the person or was I in love with the idea of being in love? Mind you, I'm not saying relating my most recent ex that I was in love with the idea of being in love. I was in love with him. My perception of being in love is loving the whole person, not your idea of them. I loved him entirely. The thing about love, I've found, is that love is forgiving with faults. None of us are perfect. We all have quirks that may drive one person to the point of going in sane and another may find endearing. With him, yeah, he did things and there were things about him that weren't perfect but he was such a lovely soul. I saw him as the most amazing, loving, wonderful man I'd ever met. He saw the best in me. He praised my intelligence and told me that I made him really look at things from a different perspective. He loved to talk to me and share his thoughts with me and get my input in so many matters. Who knows why our relationship ended. It just goes to show that nothing lasts forever, not even love. Love is fragile. There are some that say that love gets stronger with the test of time. I wonder if that's really true. Maybe for some but for the most part, I think it depends on the individuals and how deeply committed they are to one another.

Before we get involved with someone, we have an idea of the kind of person we want to end up with and when we hook up with someone, they either fit some of the parameters set up in our minds or we forgo the ideas we had and deal with the person we're with. The greatest thing I heard somewhere was that we know ourselves pretty well and the trouble with relationships is dealing with another person and them dealing with you. Again, I believe that the sustainability of love depends on the individuals and how much they're willing to put up with.

Love is one of those great mysteries. No one has the definite answer, we're all just trying to figure it out and still we don't really know it. But that's not to say that we can't be happy with what we perceive love to be. I think that the measure of happiness with love is when you find someone who intrinsically feels about love the way you do.

Comments

unspoken thoughtz said…
I've heard that saying before "in love with being in love" its true, I think its also known as fear of being alone lol...sometimes people just stay just to stay...I dunno if that really makes sense on paper but it sounded reasonable in my mind lol
June 1, 2010 at 6:21 PM
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