My caloric intake this week was good.  I behaved myself.  I accounted for everything I ate.  I lost 2 lbs this week.  

On a sad note, I've been crying since last night and every time I think of it, I continue to cry.  I'm so sad really.  Last night, before going to bed, my mom had asked me to plug in her cell phone and as I was walking up the stairs, my left side started to hurt.  she asked me what I was saying ow about, I said because my side hurt.  she said that it was too bad the pain wasn't enough to keep me from eating.  She was upset because I ate a whole rib, a whole rib that was within my weight watchers points value, a whole rib that I accounted for.  She said that I ate like a horse because I ate the one rib.   It hurt my feelings so much that I've been crying since and even now as I type this, I get choked up.  What annoyed me the most was that I made the ribs for Labor day and I only ate one rib that day.  I was very proud of myself.  I made 9 ribs total and out of all the ribs, I only ate 2.  My sister consumed the rest but my mom didn't ask about those.  My sister binges and purges and I think my mom doesn't want to see it because she'd rather have a thin daughter than a fat one.  I want to move out of my mom's house.   After she said what she said, I hated her so much.  I thought nothing but the worst things about her, I'm sad to admit.  I thought about praying to God but I felt that because she is on of his beloved, He wouldn't do anything about it, which in a way made me see Him differently.  

Comments

'Lara said…
I have instances when I hate my mother for some of her actions, i find her overbearing but she is my mother afterall...some of us have those mothers who get on our nerves and do not seem to know when they hurt us.

It is normal to feel that way once in a while, it doesn't mean you love them anyless. You will be fine.

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