For those that read my blog or those that know me personally, you have an idea of how I function, sort of.
Case in point, my debilitating reaction to my feelings toward Oscar. Well, I'm over it. I'm over my feelings of longing, feelings of being in love with him. He is part of my history, but he will not be part of my present and future.
How did I get to this point?
He and I had a conversation a week ago and it gave me so much perspective. He told me that we were friends. He said that he should be open to meeting the love of his life and that I should be open to meeting the love of mine. When he said that, my first instinct was to argue that I had, but I kept quiet. He then went on to say that he doesn't think it's realistic that a couple w/ an age difference of 20 yrs or more, should be a couple. He said that the relationship would be unrealistic, especially when it gets down to the end, he'll be on his death bed and the woman/girl would be taking care of him and he said that wouldn't be fair to her.
I appreciated what he said and how he said it.
That led me to ponder all he said and I felt liberated, literally.
I got over my "daddy" issues. NO MORE OLDER MEN! Well, no men at the moment, but when I'm ready to embark upon a substantial relationship, I will only allow myself to be w/ someone in the age range of 34-42.
What he said shook me to the core, I'll have to be honest and I really do have to be more realistic.