My (random) thoughts

I'm going through a divorce and ending a marriage that lasted two years. Two long, hard and hurtful years. I married a monster, an evil man. When I say evil, I mean evil like when we were kids and we had to have on night lights because we were afraid of the boogeyman. That kind of evil. A man free of any sort of remorse. A man with no conscience. More on this character later. Trust me, I will totally spill the beans but things have to be in place first. Anyway, when my marriage first ended, I was of the mind that I was free and I could move on and find the one for me, the one to truly love me the way I'd always known I'd be loved, my soulmate. Needless to say, I'm still single. Sure there are men out there who are interested but the problem is, I'm not. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of giving away my heart. I'm afraid of trusting someone so completely and utterly. I'm afraid of being myself. With my soon to be ex-husband, I trusted him impli...

This is not entirely about love or even the idea of love. I may be wrong, I'll just keep writing till I get the jist of this blog. February 14 we all know as the day to profess our love to those around us or use as an excuse to let that someone you've had an eye on for some time know you're into them. But why just this one day? Why not do this on any other day? Why be predictable? While praying on February 14th, it dawned on me that we use this day to tell everyone we love them but while thanking my Father, the Most High God, I thanked Him for loving me everyday of my life, not just this particular day. Mind you, I have nothing against Valentine's day. I just thought it was interesting that this particular day was put aside to help remind us to show in some fashion our love for those around us.

Passion. Can we ever get enough of it? I don't think so. Can we have passion without love? Can it have emotional strings attached or can it be just a physical coming together of two souls who just need some at that moment? Dictionary.com defines passion as: 1. any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate. 2. strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor. 3. strong sexual desire; lust. 4. an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire. Can it be controlled? I guess it depends on the individual(s). Some can harness their passion while others can't. I'm one of those that would like to think I harness it, but it always seems to seep out. This is what I consider an example of passion. Enjoy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=es6V51wp7xQ

I love the New Year. It allows for a new start, a new beginning. This is when you make the plan for how the rest of the year will pan out. Yes, I feel different. I feel it in my skin, it's actually tingling. I get to leave the past in the past. I'll take with me the lessons I'll need on this new journey, but this year, God, my blessed Father, has allowed me for one, to live long enough to see this year and two, to make it the way I want it to be. I have a new slate on which to write on and I'm choosing my words carefully. I'm excited to see how this year is going to be and what it will bring. Of course, there is a template to follow but like this blog, it will be filled with my hopes and dreams and the fruition of those dreams. As cliched as it may sound, this is the beginning of the rest of my life. I look forward to the journey and the many roads it will take me. God has blessed me and has already blessed this year.