I miss it

I'm sitting here on the couch, watching the Golden Globe Awards and thinking about wanting to be kissed.  I miss it.  I miss a lot of things.  I miss the feel of a hand in mine.  I miss the feel of a good, deep, long hug.  I miss the feel of someone else's hand on my body.  I miss it.  But you know, as much as I miss it, I'm not willing to compromise in order to get it.  It's amazing that I now get it.  I'm 42 years old and I finally get it.  "It" being enjoying getting to know me, getting to show me love, getting the opportunity to really figure out what/who I want in my life.  In the past, when I wanted all I'd mentioned earlier, I was willing to have it come from whatever package I saw, not really caring how it came or who it came from, just as long as I had it.  Not any more for damned sure.  I've been single since October 31st, 2017, when the man I was engaged to let me know he wasn't in love with me anymore.  Despite this and sadly, not seeing this as an opportunity to take a break and reevaluate, I thrust head first into finding a replacement, which, thankfully didn't pan out.  After the last fail, I realized that I had been given an amazing opportunity.  Opportunity to love me, date me, fall in love with me, appreciate me, get to know me and I'm definitely taking advantage of this time that I have.  I don't know what the future will bring or if I'll even have a partner but you know what?  I'm fine with it.  I'm happy with me.  I'm loving getting to know me and I'm loving loving me.  

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