My (random) thoughts

I was very brusque with someone today.  A guy I used to be intimate with.  We aren't friends, haven't been friends for a very long time.  He'll send me texts and I ignore them.  He calls, I ignore the calls.  Today, he sent me a text, wondered if I wasn't receiving them or just ignoring him.  I responded.  I let him know I'm ignoring him.  He texts back, wondering why.  I let him know that our time is over and I'm just moving on.  I ask that he respect my wishes to be left alone.  He text back asking what my problem was, why I was upset.  I ask him again to leave me alone.  He still doesn't stop.  He texts me again.  I text back that I don't want to cuss him out, to just leave me alone.  He texts back again.  I let loose.  I ask him to fucking leave me alone and what he's doing is harassing me.  He's still persistent.  I text back to fucking leave me alone and if he persists, I will take...

Finally, I've decided to be prudent.  Finally, I've decided to wait for God to bring "him" instead of me trying to find "him" on my own.  I tried everything, looked everywhere.  I met many men along the way who had certain attributes but not all the qualities I was looking for.  Some have even come quite close but weren't the complete package.  In no way am I saying that I'm looking for perfection because there's no such thing.  I just know what I want and instead of compromising and not getting it in its entirety, I've decided to wait on God to direct me to where "he" is and make it happen. Why now?  Because I decided, on my own, to try and turn my once in a while booty call into a relationship.  Seriously, the guy is the best sex I've had, to date.  He seriously wears me out.  I don't have to masturbate post coitus to have a fulfilling experience.  The other times I've had sex, I've orgasmed, but I wasn't ...

So on Friday, my sister and I decide to go to a Wakekeeping.  I'm driving, so on our way, we stop at the gas station cause I need to fill up on gas.  I pay, pump and go into the store to get my change.  As I'm walking out, I walk gingerly so I don't fall because I'm wearing heels. I look ahead, taking my time as a I walk and in front of me is a guy.  He's parked his minivan in the once empty stall at the gas station and so I'm trying to figure out how to maneuver around his vehicle to get to mine.  He says hello, I say hello.  As I pass him, he asks me what cologne I'm wearing.  I told him that at the moment it was gas.  He laughed.  I let him know I'm wearing Usher for men.  He says it smells good on me.  I thank him.  As I begin to walk away, he engages me in conversation.  He asks my name, I tell him.  He tells me his name.  We chat for a bit and I'm intrigued so when he asks for my number, I give it to him...

I'm referring to myself.  I am horny.  I LOVE sex.  I enjoy myself.  I have amazing talents regarding sex.  The problem lies in that I don't have a steady partner to share said talents with.  I do have a guy that I call on occasion and we engage in sex and he is AMAZING.  He has amazing hands, mouth, tongue, appendage, the whole enchilada.  He also cooks for me when I come over.  He's full service.  He's great, but he's not my steady, though I have tried to get him to be my main steady.  I enjoy sex and if left to me would have it everyday, several times a day.  My only off days would be the six days a month I have my period.  The issue is that I also crave mental stimulation.  Verbal barbs shared between myself and a sex crazed fiend like myself.  I have yet to meet such a specimen. It's weird how meeting my main steady has eluded me.  I'm 38 now, will be 39 in November and I've yet to meet a guy I can...