The pain of silence

The old adage, forgive and forget, I wonder sometimes if it's a concept that truly exists. I'm venting on behalf of a beloved friend who I pray will have the peace she prays for.

Here's the scenario:

My friend Beth (I don't think she'll mind me telling her name) is an amazing woman, fearless in fact. I love her. She's like a second sister to me. I've known her for a while but really got to know her a couple years ago. Hers has not been an easy life, but she's a survivor and has never given up although there were times when she wanted to cave in, but I think through her faith in God and shear will, she has persevered.

Beth hasn't followed the normal route as far as life is concerned, i.e. going straight to college after high school, getting married before having a kid. She's always followed the beat of her own drum, to the consternation of her family.

The crux of the matter is: Beth is thirty-two years old, has a child and has never gone to college. She has nothing but scholars in her family and they unfortunately look down on her. Especially her younger sister who went to Law School, graduated top of her class and is in the process of taking her bar exam. Beth noticed changes in her sister but thought nothing of it, she noticed silent treatments from sister but thought maybe it was just the stress of the exams. But she noticed something weird, she laughed and joked with her younger brother, but out right ignored Beth. She couldn't understand it. She asked her sister what the matter was and she said that nothing was the matter. But again, her sister gave her the silent treatment. She's at a loss because she and her sister are close.

As her friend, I'm mad at her sister for treating her so badly but I couldn't bring myself to tell her why I felt her sister was giving her the silent treatment.

My theory is that Beth's sister, who used to idolize her, now sees her as a failure. She sees her as not accomplishing anything as it bothers her but she doesn't know how to deal with it so she ignores her. Beth hurts and was near tears when she told me. What can I do? Do I tell her my thoughts, which may or may not be correct or just continue to be there for her?


Anonymous said…
I ma glad you are concerned about your friend Beth. Just be there for her, help her build up more confidence and self esteem for her self, let her understand, living an accomplished fulfilled happy life has nothing to do with degrees. She is perfect and a master in what she does, and should focus exactly on that. Advise her to seek more attention and interaction with her sister. If you happen to reveal you feelings to Beth's sister, you might ignite a family fire that you might not be able to sxtinguish.

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