What the heart wants...

I'm 38 years old, young, whatever.  I don't feel old, don't look old but I feel like time is surely passing me by.  I have an amazing son, who is now 9 going on 10.  For the longest time, I always had this idea that I would get married again and have more children.  The reality is that I haven't been married for 9 years and haven't had a long enough relationship to make come true my desire.  I take that back, I haven't had a long enough physical relationship.  I've had a long standing relationship, probably the healthiest, most wonderful relationship I've ever had.  The connection we have is what I've always wanted, the love I receive is what I've always wanted, it's the ideal situation.  The only problem is that it's a platonic relationship.  We didn't start off as platonic, but have gotten to that point.  We love each other, that goes without saying, but the "stars haven't aligned" for us.  He is my ace, my pally, always up for an adventure, even if it's just driving to a different county to get some amazing donuts.  He passes absolutely no judgments, casts no aspersions.  On one such night, I introduced him to a few of my co-workers and one of them asked me about the good looking dude and if there was anything going on between us.  I said no and they asked why not.  Then I started thinking that as well, why not?

That's pretty much where I am.   I don't know what to do at this point.  On paper we're amazing together but who knows? Plus, he hasn't had it easy in relationships.  He's dated some nut jobs and I've heard the war stories so he's not that keen on anything that screams "relationship."

I had wanted to talk to him and see where he stood on the possibility of us being together.

I may not do it, may not have the courage.

It was just a thought.

Comments

T.Notes said…
Tread easy though.... don't spoil a good friendship. Subtle always works best...
YankeeNaija said…
I totally agree, hence why I've just kept the status quo.
maybe one day it will work out!
rethots said…
Twill be if twill be.
YankeeNaija said…
well, it won't. the desire seems to no longer be there. but then, being as fickle as i am, who knows.

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