My (random) thoughts

I need to get something off my chest: I carry a torch for a man who encompasses what I want in the ideal man. Funny thing is, there is no ideal right? I know that but I still think he's peachy keen. Anyway, I need to vomit all I've been feeling, that way, I can FINALLY get over dude. Let me start at the beginning... I lived in Nigeria from 95-98. I lived with my favorite uncle, who is like a second dad to me, but I digress. In 1995, I was 19 years old, fat and completely isolated myself from people my age. About a year later, I lost all the weight and became a social butterfly, of sorts, thanks to my uncle who pushed me to get to know the kids my age in my hood. One of my neighbors, who I'll call David, cause he looked like Craig David and I became friends. I had such a mad crush on him. I thought he was the bee's knees, the real cat's meow. The feeling was mutual. It started out innocently enough but the attraction grew and one thing led to another and we became in

God does indeed have a great sense of humor. How do I know? I just do. What brings me to this conclusion is the fact that, until recently, I have not have had any desires to get involved with ANY man for the duration of the Nursing Program I'm currently involved in because: one - the Nursing Program is too stressful; two - having to deal with another person's drama will take up too much of my time and three - I can't deal with someone who can't understand that I won't be available to chat for maybe weeks at a time or at least just on weekends, as long as there are no exams. I listen to the stories from some of my classmates about how their SO's are upset because they're not the center of attention. I simply thank God. So, what is the deal with me thinking that God has a great sense of humor? I'll explain. I am, by Webster's definition, the most guy crazy broad one will ever meet. Seriously. When I meet an attractive guy, have his first and l

I'm on a journey. This journey is unlike any journey. This journey is to take me to my Father. This journey is to bring me closer to my God, my Baba, my Papa...you get the idea. It took me a long time to get to the place where I'm finally ready to take this journey. It's a shame really because my family is steeped in God and for whatever reason, it passed me by. But I have to reevaluate my earlier thought about it being a shame. Is it? I'm not going to say, "better late than never" because I feel in this case it doesn't apply. It's more about the timing being right. I'm a coconut head. Meaning, I'm so hardheaded, it's not even funny. For an idea to finally get in, my head, like a coconut, has to be split, metaphorically speaking of course, for it to sink in. Trust me, my head has been split, well well. I thank God, truly, for His Grace and Mercy and Kindness. Why? He has been patiently waiting for me all this time to make my